I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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