I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
