Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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