Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
