fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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