I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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