I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
