Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
