Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
