Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
