I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
where does the pee come out of this thing
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
