just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Fuck appropriateness.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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