Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
