Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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