a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
