Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We are two peas in an std pod
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
