I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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