He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
