Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
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I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
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Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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