a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
