Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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