I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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