I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
