$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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