@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
