i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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