I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?