just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.