Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone