Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?

  (1-716): View more from New York

  I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her

  (716): View more from New York

  Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild

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  (716): So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go? (1-716): I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her (716): Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild http://tfl.nu/mosz
  Replies (3) Good night (807) Bad night (764)
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  (619): View more from California

  I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.

  (1-619): View more from California

  You literally just made my flesh crawl.

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  (619): I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter. (1-619): You literally just made my flesh crawl. http://tfl.nu/h7tg
  Replies (32) Good night (2115) Bad night (1159)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.

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  (919): I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life. http://tfl.nu/1v5e
  Replies (33) Good night (1176) Bad night (3253)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.

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  (616): this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line. http://tfl.nu/kz2e
  Replies (12) Good night (5716) Bad night (1080)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"

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  (256): you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!" http://tfl.nu/8xfk
  Replies (11) Good night (13484) Bad night (1401)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment

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  (608): we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment http://tfl.nu/hmt1
  Replies (17) Good night (1136) Bad night (4781)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.

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  (270): he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment. http://tfl.nu/tur1
  Replies (5) Good night (2452) Bad night (904)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor

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  (716): Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor http://tfl.nu/4crz
  Replies (7) Good night (2438) Bad night (647)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex

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  (603): I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex http://tfl.nu/95h4
  Replies (7) Good night (656) Bad night (1392)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.

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  (219): The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair. http://tfl.nu/a313
  Replies (2) Good night (892) Bad night (1670)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.

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  (843): Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now. http://tfl.nu/4hes
  Replies (3) Good night (401) Bad night (815)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.

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  (508): Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me. http://tfl.nu/wz8g
  Replies (1) Good night (745) Bad night (393)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Just high enough for therapy.

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  (301): Just high enough for therapy. http://tfl.nu/lxm5
  Replies (3) Good night (1011) Bad night (611)
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  (347): View more from New York

  My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted

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  (347): My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted http://tfl.nu/iwx2
  Replies (4) Good night (1786) Bad night (397)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.

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  (865): Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night. http://tfl.nu/r05q
  Replies (2) Good night (611) Bad night (298)

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