no, he came in my armpit
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..