I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.