Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
