Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
