I bet he comes in French.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
