the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
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She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
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If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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