And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
