she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
