I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
