That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
