Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
