singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
