I bet he comes in French.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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