i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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