He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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