FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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