Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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