drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
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He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
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I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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