even my farts smell like vagina
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
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But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
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OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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