dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
