is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
