The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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