Is it because I queefed?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Drunk is a universal language darling
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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