Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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