She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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