he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
