omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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