Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize