I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
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You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
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I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.