and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit