i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus