the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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