Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
